Also: "Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state."
[Note: I had found some of this previously on a web page that is no longer available, so I'm reproducing this whole thing here in case its current home disappears too. I've inserted a few blank lines for easier reading - Steve Gilbert, 20110425.]
The following is reproduced verbatim from
http://david.carybros.com/html/mad_science.html as of April 25, 2011
We are not responsible for anything at all. Ever. So there.
Copyright (c) 1995,1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 1900 by David Cary, all rights reserved.
Please send corrections and additions to me rather than keeping a modified version of the list, so that all may benefit from your contribution. You may post this FAQ to any USENET news group or other on-line service as long as it is posted in its entirety and includes this copyright statement. RECIPIENT agrees that when RECIPIENT find bugs or problems in the software, RECIPIENT will make a reasonable attempt to report them to the current maintainer. If you want to sell an archive which includes this message, you agree to send me a free copy of it for examination purposes. LIABILITY FOR ERRORS AND OMISSIONS IS LIMITED TO THIS PUBLICATION'S PURCHASE PRICE.
Permission to do reasonable things not for profit is given to anyone. Anything else, ask me.
Your mileage may vary. Contents may settle during shipment. NAZI(R) IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF TSR INC. Contest void where prohibited. Not for unsupervised use by children. Open other end. The bars on the windows are for your protection, not ours. US currency only, please. Thank you for not breathing while I smoke. This page made in America by illegal immigrants. Caution! Coffee is served VERY hot! Please form orderly lines to the right of the yellow rope. No concealed weapons past this point. Available in 12 tasty flavors. Honk if you're using your cellular phone. Management not responsible for lost items. Do not lean on windows. You must be **this** tall for this ride. Warranty void if sticker is removed. Not for internal use. Do not feed the animals. Tip your waitress and never dis the bartender! Alligator crossing ahead. Don't touch that dial! Calls may be monitored to improve customer service.
trademarks are owned by their respective owners (Duh). Everything is owned by their respective owners.
This is provided on an "as-is" basis, and the authors and distributors have no obligation to provide maintenance, support, updates, enhancements, or modifications. Subject to change without notice at any time.
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We expect that you will use caution and common sense when using this Web Site and/or the other web sites.
The Web Site Content may contain inaccuracies or typographical errors. The Company makes no representations about the accuracy, reliability, completeness, or timeliness of any Web Site or the Web Site Content. The use of Web Sites and the Web Site Content is at your own risk. Changes are periodically made to Web Sites and may be made at any time.
DISCLAIMER: THIS DISCLAIMER IS NOT REQUIRED BY LEADER KIBO. THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT THE OPINIONS OF LEADER KIBO. HAVE A NICE DAY!http://www.2meta.com/april-fools/1993/HappyNet-1993.html
DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES. JASC DISCLAIMS ALL OTHER WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. OTHER WARRANTIES EXCLUDED. JASC SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, EXEMPLARY, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES ARISING FROM ANY CAUSE EVEN IF JASC HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. CERTAIN JURISDICTIONS DO NOT PERMIT THE LIMITATION OR EXCLUSION OF INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, SO THIS LIMITATION MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU. IN NO EVENT WILL JASC BE LIABLE FOR ANY AMOUNT GREATER THAN WHAT YOU ACTUALLY PAID FOR THE SOFTWARE. Should any other warranties be found to exist, such warranties shall be limited in duration to ninety (90) days following the date you receive the Software. EXPORT LAWS. You agree that you will not export the Software or documentation except in compliance with the laws and regulations of the United States.
IF THE APPLICABLE OS PRODUCT WAS LICENSED TO YOU BY AN ENTITY OTHER THAN MICROSOFT OR ANY OF ITS WHOLLY OWNED SUBSIDIARIES, MICROSOFT DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES WITH RESPECT TO THE OS COMPONENTS AS FOLLOWS: DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES. TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, MICROSOFT AND ITS SUPPLIERS PROVIDE TO YOU THE OS COMPONENTS, AND ANY (IF ANY) SUPPORT SERVICES RELATED TO THE OS COMPONENTS ("SUPPORT SERVICES") AS IS AND WITH ALL FAULTS; AND MICROSOFT AND ITS SUPPLIERS HEREBY DISCLAIM WITH RESPECT TO THE OS COMPONENTS AND SUPPORT SERVICES ALL WARRANTIES AND CONDITIONS, WHETHER EXPRESS, IMPLIED OR STATUTORY, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, ANY (IF ANY) WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF OR RELATED TO: TITLE, NON-INFRINGEMENT, MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, LACK OF VIRUSES, ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF RESPONSES, RESULTS, LACK OF NEGLIGENCE OR LACK OF WORKMANLIKE EFFORT, QUIET ENJOYMENT, QUIET POSSESSION, AND CORRESPONDENCE TO DESCRIPTION. THE ENTIRE RISK ARISING OUT OF USE OR PERFORMANCE OF THE OS COMPONENTS AND ANY SUPPORT SERVICES REMAINS WITH YOU. EXCLUSION OF INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL AND CERTAIN OTHER DAMAGES. TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, IN NO EVENT SHALL MICROSOFT OR ITS SUPPLIERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, INDIRECT, OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES WHATSOEVER (INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, DAMAGES FOR: LOSS OF PROFITS, LOSS OF CONFIDENTIAL OR OTHER INFORMATION, BUSINESS INTERRUPTION, PERSONAL INJURY, LOSS OF PRIVACY, FAILURE TO MEET ANY DUTY (INCLUDING OF GOOD FAITH OR OF REASONABLE CARE), NEGLIGENCE, AND ANY OTHER PECUNIARY OR OTHER LOSS WHATSOEVER) ARISING OUT OF OR IN ANY WAY RELATED TO THE USE OF OR INABILITY TO USE THE OS COMPONENTS OR THE SUPPORT SERVICES, OR THE PROVISION OF OR FAILURE TO PROVIDE SUPPORT SERVICES, OR OTHERWISE UNDER OR IN CONNECTION WITH ANY PROVISION OF THIS SUPPLEMENTAL EULA, EVEN IF MICROSOFT OR ANY SUPPLIER HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.
Legal Mumbo-Jumbo. Q: Is legal mumbo-jumbo like the following really necessary ?
Copyright (c) 1995 by David Cary, all rights reserved. This FAQ may be posted to any USENET newsgroup or other on-line service as long as it is posted in its entirety and includes this copyright statement. If you want to sell an archive which includes this message, you agree to send me a free copy of it for examination purposes. Please Note: Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state. ---- David Cary ------------------------------
http://david.carybros.com/html/mad_science.html
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